How to mend a broken marriage

Here is my advice on mending a broken marriage.

1. Try to remember what brought you together in the first place. There must have been a point in time when you thought "this is the right person for me". The qualities you saw in your mate should still be there, look for them.

2. Re-establish the love you had for each other when you first met. Start dating again. Have a nice candle-lit, romantic dinner in a nice restaurant.

3. Communicate. You must talk to each other. Sometimes women expect men to read their minds, but this is not possible. A wife must tell her husband what she thinks and truly feels. Only then can he react to what she expects of him and vice versa.

4. If there is a disagreement on a particular issue, address the issue and not attack each others character or personality. Nagging, bullying, fault finding or belittling one another makes no sense. Sit down and try to find a way to deal with the issue at hand.

5. Learn to serve one another. Most marriages fail because one or both partners are selfish and think only of satisfying themselves. A truly happy and satisfying marriage is based on giving, not getting. Sacrifices must be made for each other. With this one task of serving one another with love, will turn the marriage around instantly.

6. Start appreciating and complimenting each other. What are your mate's strengths? Identify these strengths and pay compliments accordingly. Don't take each other for granted.

7. The little things matter. Think about the little things that can be improved in the marriage and do them. If your wife does not want you to throw your socks on the floor, then don't do it. If your husband does not want you to nag him about something that needs to be done, then don't. Eventually he will do it. Discuss some of the things you would like each other to do.

We must appreciate that over time the emotional high of love that a couple felt during dating and up to the honeymoon stage will ebb over time. It is going to take a lot of sacrifice and hard work to keep a marriage going.

Remember Ephesians 5. Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, for the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the Chuch...so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the Church and gave himself up for her... In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife, loves himself. (Eph. 5:22-25, 28).